Education is meant to provide opportunities for growth, yet for many neurodivergent students, the school system can feel more like an obstacle course than a place of learning. This powerful personal account, written by a 12-year-old Year 7 student, sheds light on the realities of navigating secondary school as a neurodivergent learner—being misunderstood, misjudged, and often left without the support needed to thrive.

From both a professional and parental perspective, this essay highlights key challenges in the education system that continue to fail neurodivergent students. It raises crucial questions about how schools recognise and respond to neurodivergent traits, the impact of rigid behavioural expectations, and the urgent need for neuroaffirming approaches that allow all students to be seen, supported, and valued.

For Educators: Understanding the Unseen Struggles

From a professional standpoint, this reflection underscores the disconnect between student experience and institutional expectations. Despite intelligence, curiosity, and a willingness to engage, neurodivergent students are often penalised for how they learn rather than being supported in ways that help them learn best.

• Behaviour vs. Communication – Teachers may see disruption, argumentativeness, or defiance, but what if these behaviours are actually attempts at self-advocacy, emotional regulation, or simply a response to unmet needs?

• Masking and Burnout – The student describes masking as a survival mechanism, but the long-term cost of this is emotional exhaustion, identity confusion, and academic disengagement.

• Classroom Environment and Learning Styles – The rigid expectation of silent, still learning environments does not work for every student. Many neurodivergent learners focus better in dynamic, interactive spaces that accommodate movement, discussion, and alternative processing styles.

The student’s experience reinforces the need for neuroaffirming practices—recognising diverse ways of thinking, communicating, and engaging in learning. This is not about “making exceptions” but about rethinking how education is structured so that it supports all students, rather than forcing some to struggle unnecessarily.

For Parents: The Emotional Weight of Advocacy

For parents of neurodivergent children, this essay is a painfully familiar story. The challenge is not just ensuring your child receives an education but constantly advocating, explaining, and fighting for basic understanding—often with little success.

• The Frustration of Being Misunderstood – Like many neurodivergent students, this child is not struggling due to ability, but due to an environment that does not accommodate their needs. The stress of being labelled as “disruptive” or “difficult” creates self-doubt, anxiety, and fear about the future.

• The Burden of Trying to Fit In – When a child describes school as exhausting because they are spending all their energy just trying to stay out of trouble, it’s a sign that something is fundamentally wrong with the system, not the student.

• The Role of School Culture – The essay shows a clear contrast between educational settings that foster curiosity and those that suppress it. The difference between thriving and struggling often comes down to whether a school values and adapts to neurodivergent thinking—or whether it demands compliance at the cost of student wellbeing.

The Bigger Picture: Shaping a Neuroaffirming Future

This student’s experience is not unique, and that is exactly why it matters. The current education system was not built with neurodivergent students in mind—but it can be changed.

A truly neuroaffirming education system does not force neurodivergent students to adapt; it adapts to include them. This means:

• Recognising behaviour as communication rather than simply punishing it.

• Providing structured, flexible environments that allow different learning styles.

• Creating safe spaces where students can be themselves without fear of judgement.

• Listening to the voices of neurodivergent students—not just as a problem to solve, but as a perspective to learn from.

If we want to create a society where neurodivergent individuals do not have to fight for belonging, we must start in the classroom. This student has shared their experience in the hope of being understood—now it is time to listen and take action.